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Touched by an Angle

Comfort for people who do dumb things.

Bad Taste

In San Diego in the late 1980's, a man named Tony visited a convalescent home and began speaking with an elderly lady. As he talked, he helped himself to some peanuts from a jar at the side of the old woman's chair. After some time, he asked the woman if she would like a peanut. She replied, "Oh, I can't eat the things dear. I just suck the chocolate off and drop them in a jar beside my chair."
 

Save the Whales

In Oregon, some clever authorities decided that they would blow up a beached dead whale with dynamite, rather than go to the trouble and expense of burying the rotting mammal. They surmised that after it was blown up, the hundreds of hungry seagulls that were hanging around would then eat the small portions of the big fish, and deal with the problem. The crowds and news media were moved back a 1/4 of a mile and the dynamite was exploded. Unfortunately, thousands of pieces of rotten whale landed on the crowd, with one big whale portion landing on a spectator's car, denting the roof in about 18 inches. The noise of the explosion caused the birds to completely disappear, leaving authorities with the exciting job of picking up the thousands of pieces of stinking whale and burying them.
 

 Swatter

A family in San Diego were moving home, but because the husband was out of town, the wife had the unenviable task of packing everything into cardboard boxes. That night, she collapsed with her young family onto the floor of their home, into sleeping bags. During the night, the weary woman was roused by her youngest son saying that there was a bug in his room. She told him to swat it. When he refused, she made her way into the darkness of the garage, grabbed a can of bug spray and without disturbing the other sleeping children by turning the lights on, sprayed the window ledges and around the sleeping bags of the kids and went back to bed. In the morning she found that it wasn't bug spray she had used, but blue spray paint.

Blowing It

Man has a talent when it comes to blowing it. Take for example the experience of an Englishman named Mr. Peter Rolands. When he found himself in conditions so freezing that he couldn't get his key into the lock of his vehicle he decided to use some ingenuity by blowing warm air into the lock. Unfortunately, his lips touched the freezing metal and locked to it.  He was trapped in that posture for twenty minutes, until continual hot breathing loosed his chilled lips.
 

The Tired Lady

A woman became tired at Venice Beach in California in the summer of 1994. The police beach patrol vehicle ran over her as she lay face down in the sand, about 50 feet from the water's edge. The woman who was impressed with the vehicle they were driving, was treated at a local hospital and discharged the same day.
 

Catastrophic

In 1978, during a firemen's strike in Britain, the army was called in to carry out the normal duties of the firemen. During this time they received a call from a very upset elderly woman, whose cat was stuck up a tree. The army immediately responded to the woman's call and valiantly rescued the stranded animal. The dear woman was so thrilled, that she invited the whole group of soldiers into her home to celebrate the event with tea and cookies.  After the celebration, fond farewells were given. Then off went the army, driving over the cat and killing it.

High-tech Criminals

Back in 1971, three thieves at Billericay in Essex England, gave many hours of thought to robbing the local post office in Mountnessing Road.  Among the details that they discovered, were the times at which there was the most cash and when there were the least security guards on the premises. They also invested in masks, weapons and a getaway vehicle. These genius'left no stone unturned. At a pre-arranged time, the gang sped through the town and screeched to a halt outside the post office. It was only when they jumped out of the car and ran toward the building that they discovered the one detail that they had omitted to check.  The post office had been closed for around twelve years.
 

Honking Hubby

A man had a habit of honking his horn each day as he came home from work. His loving and faithful wife would immediately, upon hearing the honk, open the garage door. He would swing around a sharp corner and drive straight into the already-opened garage. His wife was consistent in her door-opening ministry, until one day she failed to hear the car horn. Her happy honking husband swung around the sharp corner, up the driveway, through the closed doors, through the back wall and into the vegetable garden.
 

Editorial

Most of us are guilty of doing something dumb at sometime in our lives. However, the dumbest thing any of us have done pales compared to how dumb it would be to ignore God's gift of eternal life. The Bible says that the person who does that is a fool.  Please, don't be foolish; make "your calling and election sure."  First, judge yourself by the Ten Commandments to see if you need God's forgiveness. Have you ever lied (even once)? Ever stolen (anything)? Jesus said, "Whoever looks upon a woman to lust after her, has committed adultery already with her in his heart." Ever looked with lust? If you have said "Yes" to these three questions, by your own admission, you are a lying, thieving, adulterer at heart; and we've only looked at three of the Ten Commandments.  How will you do on Judgment Day? Will you be innocent or guilty? You know that you will be guilty, and end up in Hell. That's not God's will. He provided a way for you to be forgiven. He sent His Son to take your punishment: "God commended His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Jesus then rose from the dead and defeated death. "Repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit" - everlasting life. Then read the Bible daily and obey what you read. God will never let you down.

Good Acting

A woman was asked by the well-known and popular television program "America's Most Wanted," to act the part of a vicious arsonist. She was an experienced actress, so she gladly accepted the part. The day after the program was aired, two New Jersey police officers walked passed the woman. One stopped, came back and said, "You're the lady that was on 'America's Most Wanted' last night!" She smiled at the thought of being recognized in public. The officers arrested her.
 

On Their Way Out

A Munich school teacher once said that ten-year old Albert Einstein would "never amount to much." In 1962, the Decca Recording Company said as they turned down the Beatles," We don't like their sound. Groups with guitars are on their way out."
 

Big Bang Theory

When a man's vehicle broke down on a highway, a woman pulled alongside him and asked if she could push-start his car, with her car. He said that his vehicle was an automatic and therefore needed to be pushed at 35 m.p.h. before it would start. The woman nodded, turned her car around and drove back down the street. She then did a U turn and hit the man's car . . . at 35 m.p.h!

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